The Secret to Success? Start Caring for Others

In an age defined by likes, follows, and fleeting attention spans, it’s easy to believe that visibility is the currency of success. But the truth, as I discovered far too late in life, is quite the opposite.

There’s a quote from Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People that I return to again and again:

This book, first published in 1936, has stood the test of time for a reason, it changes lives. Mine included.

From Broadcasting to Listening

For years, my approach to communication was to broadcast features and benefits. Armed with my pitch deck, brochures, and well-rehearsed sales spiel, I went into every conversation with the same objective: to persuade, manipulate, and entice.

I wasn’t unsuccessful. But I was unfulfilled. Every meeting felt transactional. Every connection superficial. And deep down, I hated it.

It was only when I picked up Carnegie’s book, bought in an airport bookstore on a whim, that everything began to shift. At first, I resisted. My ego told me I knew better than some decades-old manual. But slowly, as I began to apply its lessons, the light bulb came on.

Success in business wasn’t about getting better at talking, I needed to get better at listening. It was all about the person sitting across the table.

The Transformative Power of Curiosity

Over the last two decades, I’ve tested this approach across the world. In conference rooms in Hong Kong, cafés in London, expo halls in the US, and train stations in Zagreb.

Every major opportunity I’ve had has begun the same way: not with a pitch, but with a question.

“What is it you do, and how can I help?"

Then I listen. Not the polite, distracted listening that passes for engagement today, but the kind where you absorb every word. I try to visualise the other person’s purpose, grasp the challenges they face, and consider how I, or more often, someone in my network, might be able to help.

Time and again, curiosity has created connections. Genuine interest has unlocked collaborations. And trust, not persuasion, has built relationships that endure.

Leading with Curiosity

The lesson is simple: business is not about selling yourself. It’s about allowing others to be heard.

That shift, from transaction to trust, has been the most powerful change in my entrepreneurial journey.

So here’s my encouragement to you:

• Reach out to someone in your network this week and simply ask how they are.
• Listen as though your life depends on it.
• Ask the follow-up questions that show you care.
• And if you can, offer your help.

You may be surprised how quickly your world expands when you stop trying to sell and start trying to serve.

The secret to success isn’t self-promotion. It’s curiosity, care, and connection.

Let’s lead with that.

Russell Dalgleish. The Entrepreneur's Catalyst and author of The Ask